Bat Bomb

Animals make good weapons. I'm surprised it never really caught fire; use of animals in warfare was normally restricted to transportation throughout history. We used horses, elephants, and dogs. Although I question if dogs were ever used for large scale wars and if so, they must've had limited involvement. I'm talking about those moments in movies when armies just have a trained group of animals doing their dirty work. Avatar comes to mind. It wasn't even a single species; the entire animal kingdom united to fend off the settlers. That made no sense because the animals were somehow invulnerable to bullets, but it was still a fascinating notion. Why haven't we tried that? Maybe it's too hard to tame anything other than a cat or dog.

Admittedly, animals are pretty unreliable. I hate those stories about dogs who save their owners from a burning house or bear attack. They're supposed to show everyone the power of animal companionship, but I'm just thinking about the thousand untold stories of the dog who turned a blind eye to his owner when he was in danger. Take the Siegfried & Roy accident; here we have two professionals who trained a tiger for six years since it was a cub. Then, the tiger suddenly feels the urge to bite something and arbitrarily goes for his owner's neck. If animals can't even tell friend from foe, I have little hope for them on the battlefield.

That's why I don't buy the whole Noah's Ark story. I don't think animals have the capacity for cooperation, much less large-scale organization. If we actually tried to get two animals of each species on a boat, I'm sure they would resort to a last-animal-standing basis.

Apparently the US government experimented with bat bombs in WWII. A bat bomb is a bat with an incendiary bomb attached to it. They were planning to send colonies of bat bombs over to Japan and detonating them once the colonies planted themselves inside cities. I have no idea how they were planning to control these colonies of explosive bats, and I guess this was one of the problems that led to its closure 1944. In fact, one army base in New Mexico was utterly wasted by bat bombs because they were accidentally released. They couldn't even contain the bats and they were planning to send them thousands of kilometres across the Pacific, through tumultuous storms and currents, and stealthily plant themselves near infrastructure (I suppose the Japanese people wouldn't see these colonies of bats invade their buildings). Seems like they were trying to run before they knew how to walk.

Dolphin Lundgren

People say dolphins are the most intelligent creatures because they have emotions. Aside from humans, dolphins are one of the only creatures that get enjoyment from sex. I suppose this means dolphins have sex for recreational purposes, which would seem like a hassle without birth control. If dolphins really enjoyed sex, don't you think they would have developed some kind of technology for contraception? Otherwise, it's kinda hard to prove that they're really enjoying sex because they're still doing it for procreation.

I once watched a program on dolphins. The scientists placed metal contraptions on the dolphin's head, which picked up on brain waves. Apparently, it detected a complex variety of emotions, ranging from happy to less-happy. Thus, dolphins were declared sentient by many animal lovers because they had the capacity for feelings.

Personally, I think it's an insult to humanity when we declare dolphins or monkeys or whatever-animal-that-can-tell-one-sign-from-another "sentient". Of course, these animals may have the ability to evolve into something intelligent but until then, I hesitate to call them anything other than animals. Take the experiment described above; I think any sentient creature would be revealing feelings of anger and irritation if a stranger placed odd metal contraptions all over their head.

Give the dolphins a couple thousand years and maybe they'll become sentient creatures. Although, they will have to evolve into something that can breathe above water to make use of the land resources. Or maybe they will develop ships to travel on the surface, like we have ships to travel underwater. Fortunately for dolphins, they can foster a population much larger than humans, considering the space they have underwater. I wonder how they will deal with sanitation and waste disposal? I suppose they can just let their waste linger in the water and dolphins probably don't need to worry about sanitation, since they're bathing 24/7.

They should give dolphins the speaking device that Stephen Hawking uses. Design one that can be equipped to a dolphin, and see if it can speak coherently.

Animal Suicide

Can animals willingly kill themselves? And if they commit suicide, would it be out of an instinctive urge or depression? Animals have a lot to be depressed about, but I'm unsure if they're considering the global destruction of wildlife when they decide to take the leap. I'm guessing dogs or cats might have the capacity to feel sad when they're hungry or their owners are away, but surely that isn't enough to make them kill themselves. I've never heard of a dog or cat kill themselves because of animal abuse, which would hypothetically be a popular excuse to commit suicide for an animal. Anything lower than a cat or dog, I think it's unlikely that it can be depressed.

I think insects don't have feelings. Spiders kill their mate just for fun. Why do you think they call them Black Widows? I know spiders aren't insects, but I doubt the mental capacities of a spider and ant differ greatly.

I've actually seen insects kill themselves for no reason at all. When I was six, my friends and I used to play a game called Learn To Fly. We sat around a picnic table and there was always a sparse population of ladybugs on the table. We would take a cup and gradually guide the ladybug to the edge of the table. Then we'd obstruct the ladybug's escape with the cup, giving her just enough space so that she could decide to stay on the table. Almost every time, the ladybug would scurry over to the edge and jump to her death, completely disregarding the function of her wings. We eventually agreed to stop, because we decided that these were handicapped ladybugs who might have lost their wings, and it was amoral to take advantage of the disabled. However, it's not like we pushed them off the table; we gave them the opportunity to stay in a closed, albeit small, space but they would rather jump off, with or without their wings. Maybe they were sad because they lost their wings.

It's the Bees Knees!

I've always wondered if bees actually have knees. Since they're classified as insects, I'm guessing they would have six knees in total. In that case, how would a bee kneel? It must be a pain, especially if they ever had to kneel in front of the Queen.

Queen Bee: On your knees!

Bee: Which one?

Can bees do anything but fly or crawl? If we forget kneeling, that leaves us with sitting and lying down. I've heard that bees die after they sting something. That immediately rules out sitting, since their stinger might accidentally puncture whatever surface they're sitting on. Lying down would also be a hassle, since they have four wings on their back. Unless they're able to fold their wings around their body, which I assume would be uncomfortable. Maybe the wings act as some sort of blanket for the bee, like a makeshift cocoon.

Do bees even need to sleep? They're supposed to be industrious, hence the term "busy bee". Considering their short life spans, it would seem a waste to sleep every day. That time is probably better spent doing whatever bees do in their daily lives (which includes copious amounts of collecting honey and impregnating the Queen).

The Queen is a fascinating position in the insect community. Out of entire bee colonies, how would a Queen be chosen? An electoral system would make sense, although voting is probably beyond a bee's mental capacity. I imagine inside the hive, it would look like the circular room in the Senate in Star Wars Episode 3. The one where every senator stands on those hovering pods, and drifted to the centre when they gave speeches. Maybe the bees just hover along the walls of the hive like those pods, flying to the middle when they want to give insight on who should be the next Queen. A fight to the death would seem more fitting for non-sentient creatures. Although, that wouldn't make sense since bees die after they sting something. In that case, the loser would die from getting stung, and the winner would die from stinging.